I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i need some magic done to my vagina
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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