im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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