All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
