i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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