He is an equal opportunity slut.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
