I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
