He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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