The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
