I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
