that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize