Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
