i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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