I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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