Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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