i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
