Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
