Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
