sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she told me i tasted like america
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
