It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
