Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
