Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
