Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
