do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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