Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
