I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
