Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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