after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
