How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
