Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
