so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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