I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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