I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
