Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Sober January is a disaster.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
