..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
