I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You made out with two different species that night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
