haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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