i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
