i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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