Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
