it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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