i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
