just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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