i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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