I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
