My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
