zippers are such a cool invention
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
