I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
