Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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