dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
