i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
