As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
