My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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